Is regret a sign you chose wrong, or just a sign you chose?

Daneshmand argues that regret is built into choosing, because every choice closes off other possibilities. She suggests that more freedom and more options can sharpen the sense of paths not taken, and notes research that people tend to regret what they didn't do more than what they did over the long run. In her view regret is not a thinking error to be reframed but a condition of caring about how we live. She points out that a choice that feels like a loss today may later look like a turning point. Drawing on Sartre and Frankl, she describes courage as a quiet, everyday willingness to choose while accepting that some ache will follow.

Takeaways

Suggested applications, adapted from the essay:

1. Expect a cost on both sides. Before a big decision, name what each path will cost you, so regret doesn't read as proof you erred.
2. Read the ache as care. Ask what the regret shows you valued, rather than only what it says you did wrong.
3. Let old verdicts age. Revisit a choice you've labelled a mistake and ask whether time has changed what it means.